Somewhere in a dark backstreet of the big city, a crime was committed. A young woman was killed. She was left there and as she fell, the culprit swiftly went away, not looking back at the young woman.
The next morning, the body was discovered by a resident of the street, and the police called. A few minutes after their arrival, the police officers realized that it wasn’t just another murder. They called in the detective in charge of this investigation: Karen.
Detective Karen arrived half an hour later, dressed in dark blue very tight jeans, platform heels, and a sport jacket over a cotton shirt. She had a look at the crime scene.
“Looks like all the others.” said an officer.
“Yeah”, said Karen with a trailing voice. “That’s the 9th victim. All were found without traces of violence, like their heart suddenly stopped. We’re either looking at a serial killer, or at some kind of new disease or virus.”
“Have you found any pattern yet?”
“Well, yes and no. They were from a wide range of age, from 17 to 45, the bodies were found in different parts of the city, they had different jobs, were killed on different nights, had different acquaintances, no one was using drugs, they had different hair cut and color, there was more than one race involved… Nothing points to a pattern of serial murders, yet I have the feeling I’m missing something.
Okay take all the usual pictures and stuff. I’m going back to the office.”
Karen got back into her car, a van. Since she was always wearing tight jeans, it was most impractical for her to have a standard car, too low to get in. With a van, she was sitting much higher, and was easier to get in as she was “climbing” in.
She drove back to the police headquarters. In the corridor, while going back to her office, all she could hear was the clicking of her heels on the hard floor. “There must be a connection somewhere.” she said to herself. In her office, she stood in front of the wall where all the pictures of the victims were laid out. Then she froze. “…Can it be?”
The police chief was skeptical.
“You’re sure? That’s a pretty wild theory. Sure you’re not putting your lifestyle in front of your work?”
“No chief. Nine deaths. The only thing they have in common is what they were wearing: loose fitting jeans and flat sole shoes.”
“You really think someone would kill a woman simply because she’s wearing that?”
“Well sir, it has been known that serial killers killed only women of a specific hair style and color. So why not clothing?”
“This is too weird. I’m not ready to give in. Continue your search on other possibilities.”
“I feel very strongly that this is…”
“That will be all detective!”
Karen went back to her office. To her, it was obvious. Of course, that’s no reason for killing someone… Hair color neither by the way… But what kind of killing was that? No violence. No abuse… Weirder and weirder.
Karen found herself on the scene of another mysterious death. Again, the woman was wearing loose fitting jeans and flat sole shoes. A police officer approached her.
“Looks like your theory is valid. Another one with the same characteristics.”
A woman officer approached.
“What theory is that, if I may ask?”
“Well the chief doesn’t agree with it, but here it is anyway: all women found in their circumstances were wearing loose fitting jeans and flat sole shoes. I don’t know exactly why and how they were killed, but that’s the only common element of all the cases. We didn’t find any dead woman wearing tight jeans and/or high heels.”
“Guess I better buy myself a new wardrobe then.” said the woman officer.
“That’s not what I meant… “
It was too late, she was going away. A dozen meters away, a journalist with a parabolic microphone heard the conversation, and decided to have the scoop of her life.
Later that day, Karen was watching the news when the following report was aired.
(host). “Our journalist Nancy managed to get revealing information regarding the serial killing in the city. Nancy…”
“Thank you Paul.” The image showed the tall and slim journalist wearing extremely tight jeans and high heels. “This morning, another body of a woman was found, without any traces of violence explaining her death. Detective Karen was on the scene, and I was able to record the following conversation:”
The conversation between Karen and the officers was heard, and they were seen through branches and leaves, showing that the journalist crew was hiding.
“That’s why I’m dressed like that. If all it takes to protect us is to wear tight jeans and high heels, then we just have to go for it… at least until the murderer is found. For Channel 4, this is Nancy. reporting live.” As she let go of the microphone, she was still on the air, and not knowing it. A fading “Gee, these pants turn me on with every step…” was heard.
Karen sat back. She wondered what this was going to do to her case. Come to think of it, it might even help it, lowering the number of potential victims.
In the morning, the jeans and shoes stores were overwhelmed by the demand. Some women even went to seamstresses to have their jeans made even tighter. At the police HQ, the journalists were all over the place. Karen was in the chief’s office.
“Why did you have to say that?” he asked.
“Sorry chief, but it was a plausible explanation, and it was given to fellow police officers. I couldn’t know that I had a microphone pointed at me. And, sorry to disappoint you, but my theory is the best so far. With all the women going to wear tight jeans and high heels around the city, the few that will not do it will likely be the next victims. All we have to do is spot one and follow her until the murderer shows off.”
“I don’t know what to do here, Karen. This is so…”
“Yeah. Something like that. Better get results fast or we’ll both have to find a new job… In the meantime, I don’t dislike at all looking at all those women in tight jeans and high heels…” he said with a wink.
Karen stepped out of the office and was surrounded by journalists.
“Detective! Detective. Any new developments?”
“No, nothing so far but we…”
“Detective Karen. Is it true that the tighter the jeans and the higher the heels, the lower the risk of being attacked?”
“What? That’s nonsense. So far, nothing proves without a doubt that this theory is rig…”
“Detective! Over here. I think I was attacked by the murderer, but I managed to escape!”
All the journalists turned toward the woman who just talked. Karen grabbed her hand and led her in her office, closing the door, to the dismay of the fleet of journalists.
“Woo! Sorry for the mess. Please, sit down.”
“Well, I prefer to stay upright, if you don’t mind.”
Karen had a look at her. She was in her early 20’s, tall and slim. She was wearing very tight jeans and also a very tight denim jacket and 6 inches heels pumps. Her curled auburn hair was floating on her shoulders.
“My name is Linda. Sorry to have yelled at you like that, but I was afraid the journalists wouldn’t let me come closer to you.”
“It’s not a problem… unless your story is a joke. I’m really not in the mood for phony stories right now. So you said you were attacked by the person we’re looking for? You do not fit the description of a potential victim, though.”
“Yes, I know” said Linda nervously. “At the time of the aggression, I was wearing loose fitting jeans and flat sole shoes. When I heard your theory, I ran to the store and bought the tightest denim outfit and the highest heels I could wear. Now, what he said to me make sense.”
“Said to you? What did he say? Have you got a good look at him? Can you describe it? Can..”
“Sorry. That’s the first break in this case I have in weeks. Please go on.”
“It was exactly one week ago. I was coming back from the gym, and as always, wore my faded jeans, that are loose fitting, and still had my running shoes on. I think that’s what saved me. Anyways, I was walking casually towards the bus stop when I heard that awful screeching noise coming from the side street. I walked toward it, with caution. Then that … thing appeared. Out of nowhere, and approached a woman walking close by. The woman was backed to the wall. Then, some kind of light flew from the woman to the creature, and after a few seconds, the woman collapsed. Then the thing saw me and started to run toward me, but I ran as fast as I could, and it never catch me. It was this woman.” she said, pointing at a picture on the wall.
Karen looked skeptical. “Yes, she was found exactly one week ago, but you have to admit that your story is hard to believe, and that doesn’t give me a clue of what we’re dealing with.”
“That’s the truth. That’s what I saw. That thing seems to have sucked the life out of that woman.”
Karen took note of the story, and let go of the woman. It was too weird. She had a plan. She will make herself the bait.
The same night, she went on, walking on the darkest streets, wearing loose fitting jeans and flat sole shoes. Suddenly, she heard a strange noise. High pitch. Screeching. She turned toward the noise only to be hit by some kind of hand. She lost her balance and fell on the ground. Her purse flew away. She got up and backed to the wall. There was this thing floating in front of her. Huge, 3 meters tall, with ugly skinny wings. Looked like a prehistoric bird. Its head was round, with a large mouth, taking most of the face. Two eyes on each side of the head were visible. Two antennas on the head moved toward Karen. She felt like her stomach was being pulled out, then the thing stopped and backed off a little, almost like surprised. Karen removed her jacket and her pants. Underneath, she was wearing a tight denim jumpsuit, and the flat sole heels were in fact disguised high heels. The thing flew back a couple of meters, and then went away with a scream. Karen collapsed, suddenly exhausted.
She woke up at the hospital. The chief was beside her, along with Linda and the journalist, Nancy.
“Euh, yes chief. What happened?”
“Well, you cracked the case. The murders are solved.”.
“The creature? You saw it? Captured it?”
“Not exactly,” said Nancy. “Very clever of you to have hidden a camcorder in your purse.
Although it was on its side, it taped the whole attack, and showed how wearing tight jeans scared it away.”.
“Yes, maybe scared him away, but I almost died.”
“The doctors analyzed your condition, and went back to the autopsy table and rechecked the victims. The thing sucks life energy. We assume that the last part of that life energy is what the thing is after, but for some unknown reason, tight jeans and high heels prevent it from getting it. That’s why you are still alive. It didn’t get all your life energy out. You were unconscious for 2 weeks.”
“Two weeks?… Fuck!”
The nurse came in, not wearing the usual uniform, but tight white denim jeans and white high heels shoes.
“Time to eat a little, miss Karen. I’m afraid that your visitors are going to have to leave the room.”
“Yes, sure. Chief, one more thing. Did you capture or destroy it?”
“No. We tried, but LISMO vanished into thin air every time.”
“Yeah,” he said laughing “That’s the name the population gave him: LIfe Sucking Monster.”
“Interesting. So, what is the solution to get rid of… Lismo?”
“We talked to a hunting specialist, and he said that when all the prays will be gone, it will be forced to move elsewhere, or it will die, starving life energy. So, with the collaboration of Nancy here, we asked all women to wear tight jeans and high heels until further notice. We’re going to starve the bastard to death.”
“Any idea for how long?”
“Not really. But since no one is willing to test it and become its breakfast, who knows. Tight jeans and high heels might be in fashion for a long time”.
© Pete / monsterp63, March 1999
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