Dunno… I was in the mood to make it a little story for this month.
Note: the images that are mainly of Phil or close-ups are “low-res” (800X640) because, well, we don’t give a shit about Phil. Those who feature Karen are hi-res (1600X1280), because, well, Karen in a tight shiny outfit and heels. That’s why.
Sound of automatic door sliding open. Karen turns around.
“Oh, hi Phil. What brings you here today?”
“Uh… Oh… hi Karen. I… I didn’t know you were hum… working today? Isn’t it your day off?”
“Yeah, it WAS, but they want to test this power converter tomorrow and there’s a few bugs to fix. What brings you here? Not the time machine again? You know you weren’t supposed to use it the first time, don’t you.”
“Well… I… I sorta… have to fix… something.”
“Again?? Really? Okay, let me get this straight. The first time you went in, it was to meet some guy who writes fetish stories with his character named like me, to tell him NOT to stop writing in 2022, but instead of landing in Canada you landed in China in 2019?”
“Well, euh… you know… they both start with a ‘C’ and end with ‘A’. That’s so, erm… confusing, and the year was not my fault. It was just a sticky key…”
“A sticky key… You dripped your fucking peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it! And then what happened? Oh right, you sneezed.”
“I’m very allergic to bats and chicken and…”
“And you triggered what is known in the history book as the C-19 pandemic.”
“And you went back, hitting early 2022 and then what? Oh, yes, you were aiming for Canada but forgot to change the destination. No problem since this time, you brought a jet-pack because you wanted to visit the world, and when traveling from China to Canada, you did what, Phil? Please, remind me.”
“Well… I didn’t secure my load properly and one of my energy packets fell on the border of Russia and Ukraine, euh… well… exploded and… Euh…”
“You started the Russian-Ukrainian war. But I thought you went and fixed it?”
“Yeah, that one is really funny. See, prior to my last trip, I went to the zoo and when I entered the booth, I apparently didn’t clean myself thoroughly and…”
“Ha, ha… yeah, shit. Monkey shit.”
“And it created?… Not the monkeypox outbreak? You’re the one responsible for that too?”
“Ha, ha… Silly, right?”
“And now what?”
“I’ll… I’ll figure something out. But don’t worry, this time I’m bringing my lucky charm.”
“Your lucky charm? Show it to me… oh fuck, Phil. That’s an Alien artifact! WE don’t even know what it is and what it does. Where did you get it? It’s sealed under a glass bell.”
“I sort of… accidentally broke the bell while trying to look at it. But don’t worry, I’ll bring it back.”
“No way. You’re not doing it. I won’t let you”
“You can’t stop me! I have to fix the timeline.”
“Fuck phil, you fucked up the timeline enough already. Give me that artifact!”
“No, I’m keeping it. I told you, it’s my lucky charm. I won’t lose it…Wooo”
“Careful, look out for the broom…”
“Thanks, Phil. You just threw the alien artifact in the time machine. What time is this?… August 2022… Damn!”
“It’s, it’s… It’s your fault… You let the broom on the fl… Hey, funny, I’m getting translucent now. Cool!… Uh… Wait…”
And now… The Calendars…
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